Firstly went to Geneva for an all-nighter. Was sat next to a Heineken swigging Feyenoord fan who's got a English bird. 'She's even got me drinking tea with milk, all my friends think I'm gay or retarded or something!' fucking crack-a-jack. Anyways this guy recommended an expat pub in Geneva called The Clubhouse.
I went in there and chatted with a scouser behind the bar, scouse attitude, scouse gab...just not scouse prices. fucking £6 for a Carlsberg eh eh eh what the fuck mate eh eh eh. He booted me out after 1am and I had time to kill. Walked a few miles to the UN building and took a few photos and whatnot.
No guards around so I tried to break through the fences, and waved at security cameras. Got tired and went to a tram station. Decided the pavement looked comfy and as no-one was around I lay down on the floor to sleep. Didn't work, got worried about being bum raped, but I found a public toilet (this is Geneva so you can pretty much eat your dinner of a toilet seat) laid some toilet paper down and curled up on the floor of a cubicle using a toilet roll as a pillow. Slept like a baby...who needs hostels eh.
Went on to Moscow. Was expecting to meet Graham at the airport, instead I got greeted by shitloads of Uzbekistani 'official' taxi drivers, wouldn't recommend 'em unless you wanna wake up a week later with certain vital organs missing. Chances are Liam Neeson won't be around to fetch you either. Eventually that cunt Graham showed and we went back to his hood in Varshavskaya, SE Moscow. The metro is pretty cool, there are many beautiful stations yet it can be gritty like shitty Paris metro. The punishment for not swiping your ticket isn't so glamorous...a swift blow to the kneecaps by a motion sensor. Very cruel. Very Russian.
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| All is well |
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| Paralympics for you boyo |
Thing about Moscow is you've gotta look past the whole eastern Europe thing and realise this is an expensive city. There's like a billion billionaires that live here...however there are also reams of old ladies with nicer mustaches than Ron Burgundy. It's not overly nice in Moscow, though there's a surprising lack of hobos...I think they get liquidated in the night by Spetsnaz. There is however lots of street advertising.
Unfortunately the Doktor had to leave me on occasions as I couldn't fit into his schedule so I'd wait at home for him whilst he was teaching, he took me with him another time though, leaving me in the park for 40mins to play Angry Birds whilst he went upstairs to rail his missus. Didn't get laid out there, not much of a shock though if we're being honest. They're all homely women like Welsh Girl, that aren't up for a quickie (maybe unlike Welsh Girl in this sense), but wanna make you dinner, knit you socks and eventually make beautiful Soviet children with you in the West.
Had a few good days of sight-seeing though; St Basil's Cathedral, Red Square, The Kremlin, the Cosmonaut Museum, more Cathedrals, McDonalds and shit like that really. Was devastated to hear Lenin's tomb was closed, couldn't sleep that night.
I got drunk every night and played pool. It's like £4 a pint in most places so it's pretty depressing. Surprisingly our Russki cousins don't slurp voddie like a whore on spunk, barely saw the stuff, they're mostly lager louts like us to be honest. Realised on my last night that I'd yet to try vodka and caviar, so we went to a resto and had our fill. Vodka was alright, caviar was interesting. £4 for a bit of fish spunk, think they saw me coming on that one.
One thing I liked about Moscow was the language. It's not normal letters, it's fucked up stuff that only seems normal after a few pints of Сибирская корон! It made shopping fun though, plus they like weird shit too. Got more photos on Facebook but here's a few.
All in all it was a good crack out there, good to see Graham again too. Wouldn't recommend Moscow if you're looking for conventional tourism, the locals recommend St Petersberg and I do too.
My brother Paddy is now an aspiring rapper so please check his shit out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6GA_xBVYNo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KaF-ZuMl4U&feature=relmfu
