Allez les rouges!

I had a pretty neato weekend in all fairness. You've probably seen me bragging about it on the Facebook and thought, 'cuntasaurus-rex alert', that's what I tend to think when people are having fun whilst I'm sat alone in the dark surrounded by Coke cans and crusty Kleenex.




never heard of it.

Friday I was all over the shop. Felt good telling people how bad their English was...and got paid to do so. Went Troyes for a bit, then ended up in Chalons with Big Mike and Dave. Mike was well cool and tried transferring 300GB of shit to his laptop from Dave's hard drive...pretty much fried his Dellboy.

Reims on Saturday. Went to the footy, Reims beat Angers 3-0, pretty cool.

Went on the beers, got the standard rejection notice from this bar cus we're Brits, walked off effing and blinding...all of a sudden the Reims football players leave the bar, we have a chinwag in the street and cus there's bare bitches with us they take us on to this other club.




mush in the middle is number 9, cedric faure.


We get to the club, rub a dub dub. Getting dodgy vibes from the Reims boys, that awkward moment when you're not used to VIP, not sure where to sit, which is my pimp slapping hand etc.
Stood at the bar to avoid it but faure, the legend, taps me on the shoulder 'nous sommes la-bas' (translate it yourself) and i rock up in VIP. Spent the next few hours mingling, meeting players, photos, bitches and whatnot. Personally I sold my soul to the devil by actively pimping out the girls just so I could hang out with the ballers and drink free champagne. Reminds me of the old Nazi dating exchange:

'Retired Army officer of 45 with GSOH seeks young maiden of 18-25 to pro-create with. Must have aryan features and child-bearing hips. Kinder, Küche, Kirche is a must.' 








Now, where was I.




Me and Kamel Ghilas...9 goals this season and on loan from Hull City. He likes Jimmy Bullard.

Oh yeah, had a lot of fun and I didn't get molested so it was ok. I feel like more and more of a cunt every time I write this shit.


Standard Sunday of chocolate milk, trains and having to deal with French people.