It's alright now, Mugabe gave me Gaddafi's tenner!

Now I'm one happy man as I got a direct debit from Big Rob in Zimbabwe, think it was like ZIM$100000000000000 but works out at a tenner so all good.

I've been a bit of a busy bunny lately cus we've had half term. Bit of a long one this'll be so tuck the kids in bed and get ya cocoa ready.

Had a standard weekend in Reims, went to the footy, frog shite Reims playing like the Cherries and conceded a soft goal, 1-1 finish. Went out for a few beers fri nite, pretty standard chartered.

Bog-standard standurday of hungover McDonalds and went to a frog club on sat nite. Smoking area looked like where the Nazis did experiments on the Jews and they somehow they keep busy with £9 drinks...they saw us coming at Dover ffs! I thought it'd be a good idea to wear my chunderpants on the dancefloor but no worries, Titus Bramble on the door didn't clock it.

I now realise the frogs aren't half wise on the naughtier words of our great language and I've taken advantage of this like Gary Glitter and the Vietnamese legal system. So when the random frog cunts are saying bye, a casual "Yeah cya later dickhead" never fails...useless wankers.

French lost the rugger world cup final...extended morning glory.

Spent a few days hopping around to Chalons where Big Mike lives, then went to Vitry where Dave the Rave lives. Watched Rocky I-V quicker than you can evict a gang of gypos from Dale Farm when suddenly me and the rave go for a bike ride...meant to be an hour ride or so the map says...33miles and 5 feckin' hours later we arrive in St Dizier, miss the last fucking train home and had to settle on a hotel for the night, no homo.

We only meant to go to the lake and back.


Only garms we had were t-shirt and shorts each, both had helmets so we were safe and whatnot, no hi-vis or lights though so only a keen-eyed carrot muncher could catch us on them dark cuntry roads. Surrounded by Viet Cong we made it to St Dizier, you cudda cut me left nut off and called me Lance Armstrong that night. We were riding for team Caramel...but never again, I'm getting nightmares already from last night and my saddle ass feels like I've got the haemorroids...then again I probably do.

Now I'm back in Romilly...don't expect much outta me for the next week or so.